So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Help. Why am I so naked?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
