yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.