a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.