This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize