so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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