he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize