Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.