Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
