Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
