I think I am morally bankrupt
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
