So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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