Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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