"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
