it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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