Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
