White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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