Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
