Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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