We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
