The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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