i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
