Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
