You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
