the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
