I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Of course I have a pirate flag
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
