I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
