dude i'm inner monologue high
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
