508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
