Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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