I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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