When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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