I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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