Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
