For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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