he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
tell me about the fingering
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
