Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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