I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I AM VODKA MAN
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
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