The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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