Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
