i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
