3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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