TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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