Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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