Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
