I wish I could teleport
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize