I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
