i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
