God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
