carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
