When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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