I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
