I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
