My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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