i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
