I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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