Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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