Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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