What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
