Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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