"it" just moved
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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