dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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